My non-binary spouse and I are looking for a sperm donor to start our family. My spouse is infertile, but I am a trans man, so I will be carrying our child, if we find the right donor.

We want a donor who is smart and creative, and doesn’t want to coparent or retain any rights— but we are okay with providing life updates if the donor expresses that desire ahead of time, or having a friendship with the donor if the situation is right. We need someone willing to discuss medical and familial history, we want to be as informed as possible about our potential child’s genetics and culture/ethnicity ahead of time so we can be as prepared as possible to raise them. We are just starting out in this process and we want to make sure we choose the right person, who respects us and our family.

As I said before I’m a trans man, I use he/him pronouns. I was on testosterone therapy for several years but I am still fertile and have been off for long enough to have a safe pregnancy. I had too surgery many years ago so I do not have breasts. Nor do I look female.

My spouse uses they/them pronouns, but has a chest capable of lactation and intends to undergo hormone therapy while I’m pregnant to provide breastfeeding for our baby, to enable them to have the best developmental foundation possible.

I am going back to school part time to get my math degree and become an actuary.
My spouse is a full time online student, studying Sociology and Psychology, planning to obtain their PhD in Social Psychology and do research. Among other things, they study child development, and I know they’ll be the best parent ever, it breaks our hearts that we can’t do this on our own.