I wasn’t expecting to have to add an about me when I went looking so bear with me, this might get rambly. I’ve been looking into going through a sperm bank which is expensive, and since I live in NYS it gets even more annoying and expensive because I have to jump through hoops if I want to try insemination at home instead of forking over $600+ on top of the cost of the sperm itself. So I’m weighing my options before committing.

It’s been my dream to have a child my entire life, and now I feel like it’s high time I finally put that dream up as a priority. Other life goals change and ideas of how my life would go shift but that has remained my constant. As long as my child is happy and healthy I’m not super picky about specifics in terms of appearance goes!

If I conceive a child then that child will benefit from having a whole big family of aunts, uncles, grandparents, honorary grandparents, and myself so they won’t lack from love or not having their needs met. I’m open to some contact but I have absolutely no intention of coparenting or shared custody. My own experiences with my father (who donated sperm for my mother, and who was constantly making promises of being around that he couldn’t keep and would use his connection to me as an ultimatum to my mother often) has me a little apprehensive of the idea of open communication but I’m warming to it and ultimately it’s about the kiddo and not myself. If our kid wants some contact with you and you want to as well then I’m not going to get in the way of that so long as it doesn’t involve coparenting or legal battles.

If I don’t get any bites it’s fine, I’m planning on jumping through all those hoops I mentioned by March anyway, but if I could do it sooner that would be fantastic and make me exceedingly happy, and if I didn’t have to jump through some of these hoops or could devote the money I’m saving up for towards ici/oui (or even better towards a savings fund for my child) that would be even better!