I just lost my husband we were trying for a baby to carry on his name and fulfill my mother hood journey. My heart aches for a baby to take care of and love. I have 3 girls , one is almost 18 and the circumstances with my younger two is different in co parenting. I need to raise a child as me and my passed husband would have I have a lot of extra love to give and I want them o experience my own pregnancy again. I would have considered adoption if not for the hoops to jump through and I don't feel as though that will give me the fulfillment I need for mother journey before I’m too old to carry another child.